Welcome Back, Erratic Behavior

Me, circa September

by E. Klackner 

This picture is me. Me in the future. A future where I’m decked out in my blue suit watching the 49ers on Sundays this fall. Also a future where my hair inexplicably turns blonde after 27 years of having brown hair. And there’s something wrong with my feet.  And my eyes and teeth don’t seem to exist anymore.

But despite my inability to do anything right as relates to the internet, I have a feeling this is a picture of all of us. There was a time, many years ago, where some may have felt this way, too. It was a little before my time, but it was assuredly there, maybe without the suits.

The feeling is that of expectation.

For the past several years, I have approached Sundays with the carefree zest of The Manson Family Crime Scene Cleanup Crew, eager to watch the proceedings, but not really anticipating anything tremendous. A win? Surprising, joyous, and often eye-opening. A loss? Par for the course, and by course I mean talent.

Sure, there were games I felt that the 49ers should have won. I’m at a loss as to how they’ve lost four straight contests to the Cardinals. But for every one of those, there are two games that I felt they had no shot at that they prevailed in. How they managed to beat Denver on the road with the Broncos in line for the playoffs is, frankly, stunning.

But 2007 is different. Par for the course is now a birdie. There may be more talent in San Francisco than almost every other team in the NFL. Couple that increase in talent with year three of the Mike Nolan Experience, and you get the return of that anxious feeling that worms it’s way into your stomach late Friday night.

The pacing. The clapping. The cussing. The jumping off the couch and knocking your cup over. The “Brian Baldinger is a dumbass” comments to the empty void in the room with you. The couch punching. The couch pounding. The couch head butting. The remote throwing…onto the couch.

I’ve already got my not-exactly-legal Paxil prescription in the works, I’ve bought comfortable insoles for my dress shoes, and I’ve already begun the process of removing all breakable objects from the studio where I watch the games.

In sum, this is not another one of the seemingly endless offseason articles hailing the 49ers as anything from a possible team on the rise to a possible darkhorse Super Bowl contender. This is an article telling you that the 49ers are a probable team on the rise and a probable darkhorse Super Bowl contender. The expectations are as high as John Lennon, and with those expectations come the need for preparation.

So put your game face on, ladies and gentlemen. Your game face, and your temporary bouts of manic depression.

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~ by crackladen on August 10, 2007.

23 Responses to “Welcome Back, Erratic Behavior”

  1. I remember one year maybe 6 years ago during a game vs. the Raiders where I punch out a ceiling fan light with my fist as I jumped into the air to celebrate a touch down although I think we ended up losing the game.

    My girlfriend could barley handle the last two football seasons. I hope she makes it through this one.

  2. i knooo finally i can watch a game and actually expect to win, now every game matters and a loss could mean no playoffs, and finally no more lookin ahead to next aprils draft

  3. I agree the 49ers are going to take every game in their minds and make the playoffs. We have alot of good young players that are willing to learn and make the best team the 49ers have had in a long time. GO 49ers GO GO to the playoffs and who know where from there????

  4. When we lost last year on Week 16 against the Cardinals I was so pissed. We had a chance at the playoffs and they blew against the Cards, and they were wearing the throwbacks. But yeah, on gameday I’m a nervous reck, my work gives me Sundays off because they know I can’t concentrate. And I’m going to be at the Panthers game this year, I hope to see some of you guys there.

  5. go RAMS

  6. Hey rams dude, you must be feeling a little scared right about now thinking about how much your team is going to suck this year otherwise why would you be on a 49ers website maybe your thinking about jumping on the 49ers bandwagon well I guess I cant blame you there!! P.S your team will always be the 49ers bitches just look at the wins and losses say over the lasts 25years GO NINAZ!!!

  7. Wow… typical little Rams troll. Your window closed years ago man. Great article Crack, to this day I stand by the fact that there are only 5 people I know in person who can withstand watching a game with me. My Dad, uncle, brother, best friend and my wife (sometimes). I get crazy and even have a foam “Bad Call Brick” with the SF logo on it. It has come in handy to say the least.

  8. OK well see when the season starts. after a couple of losses first you will start blaming your QB then its the dfense then it the Nolan. Nolan smells like colan

  9. lets get it st8, its our division. We have been lending it to seattle for a couple of years. you guys fell off the mapp decades ago—so dont bring that shit back. the niner glory is over.. name me one player from that glory and dont name that piece of shit bryant young that old phart

  10. ohh thought so

  11. Nice spelling, you must be from Missoura is that how they say it out in thos parts?

  12. haha first off dont be talkin about bryant young because he still plays like his glory years and he’s always puttin bulger on his ass when we play them so you can shut ya damn mouth about that…and another thing you wanna talk about glory lol when was your last glory???haha and that superbowl yall won isnt glory….you guys shuldnt of owon that year anyway if it wasnt for some unknown bum on the rams named mike jones….Who the hell is that lol

  13. stick to the point…when was the last time you won the divison…

  14. haha these rams fans crack me up….we shut torry holt down last year lol walt harris owned him….now that nate clements will be covering holt and walt harris will be covering bruce it looks like no passing game for the rams lol…..try and run the ball and willis will be there to lay jackson on his ass crack haha….lawson ,banta-cain,or brandon moore lol…damn i love how stacked our d is this year

  15. We last won the division in 2002. You last won the division in 2003. Wow. Totally owned there. We actually won a playoff game that year, too. You guys did not so much. Keep talking, though. Makes you look like more of a genius with each statement.

  16. Crack has a point….who let this idiot on the site. The lambs are DONE. Have fun fighting with the Cardinals for last place in the division. You guys pick up Randy McMichael (dirtbag) and Adam Carriker and now you think the lambs are going all the way? YOu guys are the same team as last year basically except for two players. Don’t tell me that you think Donte Hall is the answer to your troubles. We beat you once and should have beaten you the second time (I don’t know how you guys won that game since we totally out played you). Now we have improved our defense, we have a top five secondary (we will own your receiving core), and now we are going just stack the box and own you some more. Isaac Bruce is like 40 years old and Tori Holt isn’t going to be in his prime in a couple of years. So what are you guys going to do then??? You don’t have the weapons on either side of the field we do plus we have a WAY MORE DOMINANT OFFENSIVE LINE.

  17. KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

  18. To all your RamCockSuckers, didn’t the niners at one point win like 15-16 games in a row against the rams? Thought so, how fuckin pathetic.

  19. The 49ers wont make the playoffs!!!!there record will be 7-9 or 8-8 this season,Next season will be a rebuilding year for our offensive line and to find a new Q.B. unless Alex Smith learns to play more than one quarter, every three games.But there were some positives this season with new wide outs and a upgraded secondary…SO I COULD BE WRONG.But if Alex Smith doesnt start showing some kind of improvement this season,i am starting to lose my edge with this “Q.B.”…and start rooting for a new “Q.B.”NEXT SEASON!!!!!!!

  20. Yeah, it was an NFL record….I didn’t want to bring up the past. However, it is true during the 90’s we OWNED the lambs. Now since Nolan has come to town we still are winning that rivalry and I am confident that we are going to keep it up. The first year of Nolan’s tenure we swept them and then last year we split the series (still don’t know how we lost that last game). THat would make the series 49ers 3 and the lambs 1 since Nolan arrived and NO ONE IS PICKING THE LAMBS TO WIN THE WEST. How about the 49ers? Has anyone hearing them being an up and coming team because I know that is ALL I HAVE HEARD THIS OFFSEASON.

  21. I like how he says “oh thought so” one minute after he asked the question. Like he was talking to us in person. What the fuck are you doing here, dude. You really give Rams fans a bad name coming in here and making noise. We beat you bitches twice in 2005, and once last year. You act like the Rams have dominated the 49ers or something.

  22. Tough guys on the internet. I bet you don’t talk to Niner fans like that in person.

  23. This site is going downhill fast. This Rams asshole makes me wish the cowfucker would come back.. ok maybe not. Or it could be the same dude.

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