Welcome Back, Erratic Behavior
by E. Klackner
This picture is me. Me in the future. A future where I’m decked out in my blue suit watching the 49ers on Sundays this fall. Also a future where my hair inexplicably turns blonde after 27 years of having brown hair. And there’s something wrong with my feet. And my eyes and teeth don’t seem to exist anymore.
But despite my inability to do anything right as relates to the internet, I have a feeling this is a picture of all of us. There was a time, many years ago, where some may have felt this way, too. It was a little before my time, but it was assuredly there, maybe without the suits.
The feeling is that of expectation.
For the past several years, I have approached Sundays with the carefree zest of The Manson Family Crime Scene Cleanup Crew, eager to watch the proceedings, but not really anticipating anything tremendous. A win? Surprising, joyous, and often eye-opening. A loss? Par for the course, and by course I mean talent.
Sure, there were games I felt that the 49ers should have won. I’m at a loss as to how they’ve lost four straight contests to the Cardinals. But for every one of those, there are two games that I felt they had no shot at that they prevailed in. How they managed to beat Denver on the road with the Broncos in line for the playoffs is, frankly, stunning.
But 2007 is different. Par for the course is now a birdie. There may be more talent in San Francisco than almost every other team in the NFL. Couple that increase in talent with year three of the Mike Nolan Experience, and you get the return of that anxious feeling that worms it’s way into your stomach late Friday night.
The pacing. The clapping. The cussing. The jumping off the couch and knocking your cup over. The “Brian Baldinger is a dumbass” comments to the empty void in the room with you. The couch punching. The couch pounding. The couch head butting. The remote throwing…onto the couch.
I’ve already got my not-exactly-legal Paxil prescription in the works, I’ve bought comfortable insoles for my dress shoes, and I’ve already begun the process of removing all breakable objects from the studio where I watch the games.
In sum, this is not another one of the seemingly endless offseason articles hailing the 49ers as anything from a possible team on the rise to a possible darkhorse Super Bowl contender. This is an article telling you that the 49ers are a probable team on the rise and a probable darkhorse Super Bowl contender. The expectations are as high as John Lennon, and with those expectations come the need for preparation.
So put your game face on, ladies and gentlemen. Your game face, and your temporary bouts of manic depression.